Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Definition Of Palat!!!

Of Course you cant find the word in wikipedia!! Uh..Actually, ...you can lah... But the definition is a killer man!! Too many freaking big words..Tried the Melayu wikipedia, it came out zilch!!..But if youre in your early 30s' and lived in Malaysia during your teens, there'd probably have been a period in your troubled, confused teen era, a big posibility that 'palat' was a word used in your then cool teen lingo to describe a situation, feeling, taste, movie ratings, etc etc...

Ok..assuming you were not so in, nor had a diverse childhood as i did ( not really that diverse..really ) palat was our slang for f**ked up !! ...fine , fine....twas a wee bit crude a word to fathom( embrace) .. if a situation or movie sucked big time, that moment would definitely be a palat moment'...

Ok..now that I've gotten you up to speed..oh hang on ... there was an unofficial definition of palat amongst the older/elderly malays though..."palat" would be married together with tahi or taik ( shit , dung, excrement, body waste )with the former and the latter preceeding palat and you'd have tahi/taik palat which meant the yellowish( in most cases, there were some claims of it being green though none of us who heard the claim had the balls to verify it!) squishy, funky punguent smelling discharge or collected muck beneath the fore skin of your penis!

Now that paragraph brought back many a memory pre-circumcision period, of course, of rolling back the fore-skin ( neanderthal male only...yes?) and accumulating the produce of collective 'taik palat' and squishing it between thumb and fore finger, and once neanderthal teen male is satisfied that further squishing between thumb and fore finger will not make 'taik palat' any more squishier, neanderthal teen male the proceeds to bring thumb and fore finger to sensory area ( nose yes?) and begin aroma theraphy session!..hahaha...cant stomach this huh?..Well, honest to God ! That was what we ( cave-teen-men ) used to do.. if I had not have circumcised, I'd probably still be doing it!

So moving on now...'palat' seemed to have lost its place in our less than diverse and alarmingly shrinking vocabulary, so the moment I heard the word palat again, it was quite a welcomed relief, for I had been planning to blog and was looking for a cool call sign, nickname that could be a hook in your brains and easily remembered, heck I was even prepared to create a brand, the 'palat' brand!! but, lets not go there yet..firstly had to register the name and lo and behold....name taken!! now aint that just palat!..

So as an alternative, and thanks to a certain Ms. Martin the palatlalat blogspot was conceived!

The palatlalat says ....Its Palat !! what they are doing to Raja Petra, sending him to Kamunting for 2 years and his charges are the blogs he wrote on Islam and Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. might, I reaffirm in bold MIGHT! bring plunder and mayhem( ok ok Hamid Alba said chaos and discomfort ) to Malaysian and Malaysian ( the squatter squatting chinaman and chinawoman not included so.......er ...continue squatting until further notice k ) The Legendary Raja Petra has been incarcerated for the crime of maybe, mungkin akan jadi, mana tau akan jadi....holy shit!! Ya Allah!!

I remember 5 maybe 6 years ago , I had gone to the Police Station ( swear!! I did ) to report a road bully who after I overtook and honked at , overtook me back in a Lewis Hamilton kinda manouvre ( quite neat i might say, the manouvre ) screeched to a stop almost immediately, race out of his car with a baseball bat and shouted profanities at me but had the sense not to take a swing at me or my car, which made me believe this man to be an utterly well read man( a lawyer probably) but after all that he did take a picture of poor old terrified and beleaguered me and my car and say something in this context..." I have your Car No Plate you Arse Hole ... I'll Find you tomorrow and break your face!!!...

So to the Police my predicament I relayed and...the sleepy eyed policeman just looked at me, almost amused, and said " Encik...Dia ada pukul encik ke tak? Takde kan , selagi dia tak buat apapa atau takde apapa terjadi kita pihak Polis TAK boleh buat apapa dari segi undang undang" Mintak Maaf Ya Encik"

NUFF SAID !!! Go Figure!! And To Raja Petra - Daulat Tuanku !! MY one true KING!! I'll be back yes?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

quite nice .. i think your quite a new writer isnt it, still have a little bit of rough edge.keep me updated on your thoughts about malaysian politics though.nice job man.

Unknown said...

dont bother looking up wikipedia / googling palat or even palat lalat. YOU are the palat lalat :) hey its a nice nickname and i must say it IS rather cute. Anyway, my honest opinion on your first blog content. I do look up to people (now dont perasan) who has a flair in writing or even the courage to write even if the subject is as minor as a lipstick colour. Agree with that "someone" who left a comment before me, it is edgy. although it would be interesting to read more bout malaysian politics or lets divert the attention and let loose a lil. how bout music?? It is your passion isnt it :) And the need to disco dance and gyrate those hips! Enough said..Looking forward to more.